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yes no maybe so?
...written on 2003-01-10, @ 5:25 p.m.
i doesn't make sense,
i'm not in dispair -
i make up the rules,
but why isn't this fair?
they say i'm in denial
i tell them they all lie -
its just not possibly logical -
and yet i'm questioning why . . .
sometimes. i think i contradict myself. yeah - i tell people straight up what i think about this and that -inanimate objects mostly, SOME of the time - but when it comes to feelings and all . . . its like . . . i'm Porky Pig - and all i can do it stutter and splutter things out. and joke about it. and laugh about it.
which is a bad thing - when you get those serious types of boys who take relationships seriously. oye ve! in all honesty - i should probably WAIT until i'm ready to take a relationship seriously . . . . to uhm consider one - again?
mngfngh.
so why am i feeling like this? this is a weird feeling. not that flighty - flirty feeling . . . but that semi-mediocre feeling you get - (or more like that I PERSONALLY get) - when you're trying to rationalize your feelings, and say - GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER! Think with your left side of the brain please, I know you are left handed and literally speaking - you are in your "right" mind . . . but good lord.
So yeah - i've always been the ballsy chick to go up to a guy and say - HEY! I think you're cute. (But not ask for their number . . . . just plant the seed of evil in their brains.)
But somehow - this is different. I just can't do anything but joke about it.
har - har. I think i'm falling in LIKE.