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gushy goo
...written on 2003-05-29, @ 1:06 a.m.
*sigh*
i've never been one too well with words and "feelings." and the problem is - i keep running away when they get too close.
in the last one - i'll admit. i fell. and i suppose - it was a good learning experience. but after i did . . . i realized that i was making too much out of it. well, more like we both were making too much out of it. and it tired me to do so.
so . . . i suppose my only question is - with this one. . . . we're both not making *too* much out of it . . . but on the other hand . . . do we want to?
i suppose i have always feared doing the "girly-thing" and smothering the other person with too much affection. (yeah, i'll admit it here and now. i am a cuddly person. BUT - but but but - this has to do with the fact that I was raised in a "huggy" family. so THERE! . . . . i know . . . it's a lame excuse, but hey! can you blame me for liking to hug and kiss ?? )
mfngh. i'm kind of er . . . not sure about the trip at the end of next month. on one hand - i wanted to pounce on the chance immediately. on the other - i didn't want to seem *too* overeager.
haha.
i'm 22 and still having boy dilemmas. funny isn't it?
we don't talk about feelings. sometimes i wonder if it's because of my reactions that we don't. Case in point :
Friend : blah blah blah something something, says the boyfriend.
Me : *gasp!* *giggles* Oh no! Not that WORD!
Friend : Oh, uhm - how about boy toy? (to Crushboy) She manhandles you doesn't she?
Him : Oh how she does.
So . . . . I guess what I'm saying is that . . . I might not be as big of a commitment freak as I thought I was. I'm not saying that I want to get married, and have children and stuff either - but more like I just would like to take it slowly.
Which we already are. And this . . . is a good thing.
So why am I feeling like I want more hugs and kisses?
: /
I think - getting Colette's e-mail and seeing it in plain black and white - asking me if I missed him - it just made me realize.
Yeah. I already admitted it. I know. Tee hee :) I'm just trying to familiarize myself with this mushy - gushy stuff.