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a little less angsty
...written on 2003-06-17, @ 3:51 a.m.
Father's day.
Another year passes . . . .
and the pain, angst and bitterness grows a little less intense every year.
And little by little - hope, faith and maybe even that L word might come along.
Sometimes, some memories are blocked from our memories to protect us. Its just a part of suviving.
Although I've never had any physical harm or injuries from my parents - sometimes, their actions or even words cut so deep - the wounds take years to heal.
I grow older, I hope I'm growing wiser . . . and it bothers me less.
Nine years now . . . since I got the strangest feeling that my father was seeing another woman. Nine years now - since I picked up that phone - and cracked.
Sometimes - answers come in the most unexpected forms.
Crushboy : I just deleted all my entries.
Me : Oh? Why is that?
Crushboy : A part of growing up is to know when to let things go, or when to realize that certain things don't have a use in your life anymore - and you're just holding on to them for no reason.
Did I ever mention I liked smart boys?
Yeah, I do.
and - its nice to be trusted . . .
And sometimes - its not the ties that bind
- but its knowing that you can fly free,
so you just stay there,
because it feels right
and its where you like to be.