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This was the original outlet and tiny creative space. Now it’s only for the few select people who know about this place…
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its the right kind of . . . .
...written on 2004-03-01, @ 2:45 a.m.
love me right,
pull me down -
make me over . . .
don't let me frown,
put a rock -
on the little left finger -
to remind me to stay -
completely faithful -
and a little while longer.
make me forget -
i like to look around. . .
make me remember -
upon which a love is found . . .
make me sick, with nothing but pure anguish,
i want to be in love.
its his birthday today. the very first of the bright march days. i don't have any fancy gifts to bear, nothing special, just my heart to bare. and that's a lot coming from me.
its a new month, and i just realized that this is the very first entry here this year. i think - i only come here every now and then, but when i do, it's to do so with some sort of privacy. then again, if it's on the internet - what the heck, everybody's bound to find out. (plus i like self promotion anyway)
lately, there have been more bad days than good - but the past week has been nothing but pure good days. i don't know if that's a good thing. when you have too much of it - maybe you feel like you don't deserve it - so you end up feeling out of sorts and punishing yourself for it.
i almost picked it up again the other night. i don't know why. i suppose its the overwhelming power of nostalgia whilist listening to Diana Krall's "Lets Face the Music and Dance" . . . .
i was young and naive then, and and thought i was in love. but what do young fools in love know? nothing - that's what. i should know - i was one of them.
but then, when you look back you can almost say, "i wish i was blindly in love again, accepting of all fauts - not saying a single thing about them" - almost
unrealistic i would have to say. yes i know it was. but now i'm supposed to know better, yet i feel like i'm in limbo - stuck between some sort of sticky honey like substances, only it's not physical - it's and emotional hard spot.
and you're just hanging there . . .not knowing what to do. or what to say. so you take it day by day. there's really nothing else you can do I suppose.
i don't like it when i have bad days. sometimes i wonder if it's the weather that effects it. whatever.